I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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