she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
