I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
