Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
