i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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