Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
