please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize