we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize