I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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