At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize