The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
