You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's just like the Real World with babies
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
