So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
