god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
