at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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