Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
