Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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