I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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