marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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