I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize