Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
