party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
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how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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