3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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