just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
