I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
