My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Fuck appropriateness.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
