So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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