and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
PANTIES FOUND
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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