What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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