could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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