i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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