i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
