I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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