Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize