just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
