Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize