There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
