you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dicks are not precious.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
