What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
are you so shy because you have an std?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
