if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he fucked my hip out of place.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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