and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize