so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
