I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
