Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
