Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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