He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize