Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
