i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
