so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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