I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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