I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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