Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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