i don't like sucking hair
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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