Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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