you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
