dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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