Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
