guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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