He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
