I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
