physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
