i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
