even my farts smell like vagina
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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