so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
