i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
