is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
