yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
