One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
