weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
