These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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